Understanding anger, it's ill-effects and how to successfully manage it - Part 1

Let me start by sharing a small story from Buddha’s life. Once Buddha was on his daily outings, walking through a village, when he encountered a very angry and frustrated young man, who was particularly upset and confronted Buddha. Believing that this was another one of the fake saints who frequented the village, he started shouting and insulting him, “You are nothing but a fake guru and as stupid as everyone else who has visited before, if not even more. You have no right to come around lecturing people and teaching them things.”

As the young man's tirade continued, all through this, Buddha stayed calm as ever, just reacting to the insults with complete indifference, whereby making the young man even more enraged. Feeling that the young man was getting more and more frustrated that his attempts were going in vain, Buddha felt that he must help the man, so he said, “Young man, you seem to be a very knowledgeable man, so answer me one question; if you buy a gift for someone, and the other person does not take it and refuses to accept it, whom does that gift belong to then?”

The man was a bit taken aback at the unusual and seemingly irrelevant question, and thought that is a very silly question, making his believe even more prominent about this holy man’s fakeness, but anyway he responded with his typical arrogant confidence, “Well, of course it still belongs to me since I have paid for it and I am still it’s owner, but how does that matter here?”

The Buddha with the same nonchalant sereneness then said, "So what do you think happens to the all the insults and anger that you hurled towards me, if I refuse to accept it by not getting affected by it?” 

The young man now seemingly bedazzled by this response was left thinking deeply and speechless. With no response seeming likely, Buddha continued to answer it himself, “It is the same thing, as it was with the gift. When you become angry on others and start insulting them, without any receiver to accept it, it just falls back on you. It is you who becomes unhappy and restless and are left with the ill feelings in the end. In effect, what you have done is just hurt yourself and this pain does not go away easily."

"The only way to get rid of this hurt and pain is to get rid of your anger and hatred and fill that void by being a loving and caring person instead. When you become angry and hurt others, it generates ill feelings and along with others, you yourself become unhappy. And so, it also works in the other direction - by loving and caring and helping others and giving them love and happiness, you become a happy person yourself, full of joy and contentment. "

Even 2500 years later we still are fighting the same battles with anger. Anger is one of the most basic emotions that everyone is quite familiar with and learning how to handle and control your anger is one of the most important life skills that one needs to master, if you want to lead a successful and healthy life. 

(Click here to continue reading part 2…)